Drat!

Well, I missed the opportunity to be a reality TV star. See, I’m a big fan of both reality television and documentaries.  I think I am interesting.  Surely, I would make a good reality television star, right?

No, not really.  I’m too private and introspective.  And not nearly interesting enough.  However, it didn’t stop me from responding to a casting call for an infertility docu-series.  They didn’t want us. Turns out that when they say Southern California, they actually mean LA.  I know there are some LA readers out there, so I thought I would pass along the information.

Alas, this is not the year I am discovered.

The first thing I would have done after I was “discovered” through an infertility docu-series  is hire someone to pack my house.  (Because, you know, this would lead to instant riches.) I am not a good packer.  Packing for a weekend away brings me to my knees. I either under- or over-pack at every opportunity. Big Guy is in the desert working, and he works a lot.  I just kinda hang out. So, the packing is going to fall squarely on my shoulders.  It is safe to say that it is my Achilles Heel, if it is possible to have multiple Achilles Heels, that is.

Another Achilles Heel? The 2ww. Right now I’m just testing away the trigger. At 8 dpo, things are making their way back to negative, but I would say that the hCG level is still above 75.  I base this solely on what my tests looked like when I actually was pregnant and was able to cross-reference with blood tests.  Now, I know this is controversial, but I am going to say it anyway.  I would expect the test to start getting darker in the next couple of days if I am pregnant. Why? Well, when I got pregnant the first time I was rewarded with a positive test at 10 dpo.  Now I have an assumption that testing early works regardless of the variables involved.  Really, it just enables my POAS addiction.

I find myself optimistic and hopeful, which isn’t really a blessing.  I would love to be able to discount this cycle.  That way I wouldn’t be disappointed or hurt when I get a BFN.  But now, with all this hope and optimism floating around, I am bound to be disappointed.  Because, let’s face it, the statistics show that a clomid cycle for an infertile increases the odds of conception from 2% to 7%, and that is being generous.

Ladies, the odds are not in my favor.  If I were in the Hunger Games, I would die.

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10 thoughts on “Drat!

  1. I’m in the 818! Haha–if I was comfortable bawling like a little beeotch in front of millions of viewers, and Hubs didn’t work in the reality TV world and know how crazy these kinds of productions are, we’d do it in a heartbeat :)

  2. We need a POAS support group! I just imagine us all in our bathrooms peeing alone every morning. It has to stop! Except it won’t – or I won’t anyway.

    I’m keeping my fingers crossed that you find yourself part of that lucky 7% this month!

  3. Stupid, sucky odds :-P I’ll make the same deal I made with Trisha: I’ll stay positive for your cycles and you can stay positve for my cycles! That way there is plenty of positive thinking going on, but you can still protect yourself emotionally from the statistically likely BFN. I hate statistics…

  4. Ah! I was really looking forward to seeing you on reality TV. ;) I too would be the one crying in the corner so you would need to be stoic for all of us.
    I’m always thinking about the odds too. It kind of sucks that we know so much about this process doesn’t it?? As always I’m sending you positive thoughts and keeping my fingers crossed.

    • I know, B. I really missed my chance. Hopefully NPR will interview me. I think that will give me more street cred, versus a reality TV show. The reality television thing is a slippery slope. Next thing you know, I would be featured on Toddlers and Tiaras. After I have a baby, that is.

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