That’s my hope for tomorrow. I hope the beta results are unequivocal. Of course, I hope for a number that has doubled nicely. The betabase shows the fastest doubling time with an hCG level in my range as 8 hours. I could settle for an overachieving embryo with a superior doubling time, but, really, I just want an unequivocal number with a doubling time within the appropriate range.
I also could come to terms with a bad number. A number that did not increase, or even dropped. This also is unequivocal. There would be no doubt. I would stop the progesterone injections, and we would move forward with Cycle #13. Who says 13 is unlucky, anyway?
You know what would hurt the most? What would tear me apart with the ambivalence and unknowing? An ambiguous number. A slow, slow increase. A number that moves just enough to continue the progesterone and the monitoring, but which does not instill hope in myself or the doctors. That terrifies me.
So, my hope for tomorrow, aside from the obvious hopes and dreams of an amazingly beautiful baby in my arms, is an unequivocal number. I don’t feel as if it is a lot to ask of the Universe, so that is my prayer tonight.