I’m Very Pregnant.

My irascible, squished bladder woke me at 4 am this morning. When I woke up again at 6:30 I peed on another stick. Then this happened:

Yep. Pregnant.

Because it was so damn dark, I wasn’t really worried about the beta. As it turns out, I shouldn’t be. They just called with the results and my beta is at 508 at 13 DPO. The betabase tells me I’m nearly off the charts for both a single, twin or triplet pregnancy. Holy balls.

(There is no way I am going to google abnormally high betas. Not going to do it.)

My RE is putting me on progesterone injections and suppositories as well as estrogen. Fine by me. Let’s keep this little guy growing until the babe’s placenta can take over. Let’s do this. I’m ready.

 

In Consideration of IUI.

It is time to move on from the medicated cycles with timed intercourse. It has been 20 months. Five of those months we tried without any help and I just wasn’t ovulating regularly. Then we tried for eigth months with the aid of Metformin, which regulated my cycles. Then we tried for seven months with Clomid and timed intercourse. It definitely is time to move on.

Continue reading

AWOL.

Ladies, my apologies.  I’ve been AWOL.  It is not because bad things have happened, it is not because I am now a “mommy” (gag), it is because we moved over the weekend.  I am now officially a resident of Palm Springs.  Fun. For real, fun.  Big Guy and I were both really excited about the move.  I get to see my partner every morning and night, instead of on Sundays and sometimes Saturdays.  The desert is amazing in its beauty.

It is also 105 degrees.  The desert is not messing around.

We signed a three month lease on a furnished rental.  We hired movers* to take the majority of our belongings to a storage unit, and we moved our clothes, pantry, and hobby items to the desert.  What we did not bring with us was our internet.  The rental has a router but we are unable to figure out how to use the thing.  It defies all logic.  It rejects two PCs and an iPhone. It is worthless. And this is the reason I have been AWOL.

Our landlord is out of town taking caring of an aging parent, so we won’t have resolution on the internet business for a while.  Until then, I won’t be as active.  I did get a brand new smartphone, but I do not have the constitution to  post blog updates on it.  I did find a fabulous coffee shop, but my bank account can’t afford the daily coffee/breakfast date, even though I wish it could.

As for this pregnancy business, well things are moving along.  My beta on Monday came back at 140.  That’s a doubling time of 66 hours.  Not great, not ideal, but still within the acceptable range.  I’m still optimistic because that is all I have.   My next beta is on Friday.  I’m hoping for a number between 325 and 560.  That would put us in the range of normal.  Of course, anything greater than that would be amazing.  Anything less would probably indicate a bad outcome, especially given my existing low numbers and the late implantation business.

Thank you all for your positive thoughts, prayers, support, kind and encouraging words, and, most of all, hope.  You all are amazing.  You are my village. All I can do now is pray. I’ve already offered to pay for the child’s college education.  What else could the babe possibly want?

*Let me tell you, hiring movers is amazing.  These guys moved our entire house into storage in three hours.  We didn’t have to lift a thing.  At one point Francisco hefted the top of our large wooden dining table onto his shoulder, and then onto the top of his head.  He then calmly walked it out to the truck. They protected our furniture and made great suggestions for fitting things into the unit.  They had a gigantic truck and did the entire thing in one trip.  After tip, it cost us $350.  It may be the best $350 we’ve ever spent.

Unequivocal.

That’s my hope for tomorrow. I hope the beta results are unequivocal. Of course, I hope for a number that has doubled nicely.  The betabase shows the fastest doubling time with an hCG level in my range as 8 hours.  I could settle for an overachieving embryo with a superior doubling time, but, really, I just want an unequivocal number with a doubling time within the appropriate range.

I also could come to terms with a bad number.  A number that did not increase, or even dropped.  This also is unequivocal.  There would be no doubt.  I would stop the progesterone injections, and we would move forward with Cycle #13.  Who says 13 is unlucky, anyway?

You know what would hurt the most? What would tear me apart with the ambivalence and unknowing? An ambiguous number.  A slow, slow increase.  A number that moves just enough to continue the progesterone and the monitoring, but which does not instill hope in myself or the doctors.  That terrifies me.

So, my hope for tomorrow, aside from the obvious hopes and dreams of an amazingly beautiful baby in my arms, is an unequivocal number.  I don’t feel as if it is a lot to ask of the Universe, so that is my prayer tonight.