September ICLW.

Welcome ICLWers! Thanks for visiting my corner of the universe. I’m currently in the midst of the 2ww of my first IUI cycle. You can also learn more about me via my old ICLW intro posts (AprilMayJune, July, and August) or through my About Me or TTC CV pages.

I try to introduce myself differently during each ICLW. This month I would like to debut Would You Rather…. Continue reading

ICLW Bingo Icebreaker.

I did a lot of extracurricular activities as a teenager. You name it, I did it. I also was a fan of camps where we played a lot of analytical games, took fun courses, and learned new things. I was a cool kid, I promise. After years of organized group activities, I became intimately familiar with everyone’s favorite icebreaker: The Bingo Icebreaker.

Were you ever asked to participate? A group of strangers are presented with a sheet that contained a grid of unusual and unique characteristics. For example, it would include squares for someone that grew up on a farm, spent time in jail (I was the key signer for this one. Hangs head in shame.), plays a musical instrument, lives in a city, is the first born, etc. Individuals were then instructed to introduce themselves to each other in order to find someone that matched each characteristic. Each person can only sign once requiring participants to meet as many individuals as possible while learning about each other.

Well, for August ICLW, I came up with the ICLW Bingo Icebreaker. Of course, this is a bit different. I filled out a sample grid about myself so new readers can get a snapshot of myself and my journey. (However, as I’m typing this I realize that this would make for a fun ICLW activity, though I’m not sure how it would be organized.) I’m always looking for new ICLW introduction posts! You can learn more via my old ICLW intro posts (April, May, June, and July) or through my About Me or TTC CV pages.

Welcome and Happy ICLW!

July ICLW

Welcome fellow bloggers! This is my fourth ICLW, and I keep on trying to find new and interesting ways to introduce myself.  If you would like a traditional summary of my  IF journey you can revisit my ICLW posts from April and May, or you can check out my timeline.  I also did a ICLW intro post in numbers.  I can add two numbers to this post:   89 OPKs and 44 HPTs.  That’s right.  I’m not afraid of peeing on a stick.

So, as an introduction for this month I wanted to give you some of my favorite things.

Green Pants:

I love my green pants from the Gap. Love, love, love them. They are a bit stretchy, they are cropped, and they are much brighter than this picture. I feel fun and sassy when I wear these pants. I also feel cool and hip which is sometimes a stretch for this ever-aging 32-year-old. Thirty-three in two months. I can’t help but imagine my eggs wrinkling and turning gray with me. But, for now, I have green pants.

Mac Book:

I started my PhD program with a top of the line Dell. I made an investment in a computer that was fast and had a lot of memory because I knew I would be using it A LOT. And I did. I used and used and used that laptop. I filled it up with writing and research and data. I filled it up to the brim. I was very loyal, and I was loathe to toss the sweet thing to the wayside. Yet, the time came when it wasn’t even functional. So, I bought another Dell PC. I had such a good experience with both the Dell and Windows operating system that I knew I was making the right choice. I was wrong. I purchased a Dell with Vista on it and it crashed within days and continued to crash and crash and crash and crash. Three and a half years later, multiple external hard drives, multiple viruses, and multiple system reboots, I have wiped my hands clean of the Microsoft operating system. Peace out and good riddance. This is my inaugural post withe the Mac, and I’m having a blast.

Virgin Mojitos:

I live in Palm Springs and it is dreadfully hot. I don’t drink a lot of soda because I hate artificial sweeteners, and regular soda has too much sugar for my cystic ovaries. However, I do love sparkling beverages. Cue virgin mojitos. Virgin for two reasons: One, I can’t run around drinking rum-heavy drinks all throughout the day for obvious reasons (never mind the sugar bomb in the alcohol). Two, my husband is in recovery so running around drinking rum-heavy drinks would make me an asshole, and I love my husband.

So, I made some mint simple syrup, squeezed the juice from one lime, crushed some fresh mint leaves and topped it off with sparkling water. It was and is the most refreshing beverage I’ve ever made, and it will be the lifeline that keeps me afloat this summer. To make the simple syrup combine equal parts water and sugar in a saucepan. Heat until the sugar dissolves. Add some chopped mint in the sauce pan and simmer for 15 minutes or until syrupy. Strain the mint bits with a fine strainer or cheesecloth. Refrigerate in a jar of sorts and enjoy at will!

I’m thinking of making other simple syrups ie berry, rhubarb, celery, etc. The world is a sparkling beverage of an oyster.

Shadow of Night:

I was the kid with the coke-bottle glasses reading in the corner. I love books. I always have and always will. Five years into my PhD program I realized that I probably could have simply become a librarian and lived happily ever after. Alas, it was not meant to be, but I still carry books with me all the time. Shadow of Night is my new read. I’ve been waiting patiently for this book to come out ever since I read A Discovery of Witches. See, I didn’t realize it was to be a trilogy, so I inhaled the book waiting to see how things were resolved at the end. To my horror and delight, things weren’t resolved and I had to wait to see what happened. Finally, we have book two in the All Souls Trilogy.

This series is a great summer read. The author has created a smart and fun storyline, but doesn’t weigh it down with dense and complex prose. I’ve discovered that my concentration has waned in the face of two miscarriages in three months,  and things are a bit slippery, so to speak. I like to think of this as a nice defense mechanism. My brain is in survival mode protecting my heart. No need to spend hours pondering the reality of the situation. So, light fiction is right up my alley these days. For those of you that liked Twilight, check this series out. Also, the movie rights have already been sold. Coming to a theatre near you.

So, there you have it.  Brief snippets of information about my every day life outside the realm of infertility.  Oh, and I’m currently 4 DPO and waiting patiently to test at 10 DPO. Welcome from ICLW, and thanks for stopping in!

June ICLW: An Introduction in Numbers

532 Days

76 Weeks

18 Months

13 Cycles

3 Reproductive Endocrinologists

2 Acupuncturists

3 Infertility Diagnoses

2 Cycstic Ovaries

1 Blocked Tube

2 Surgical Procedures

1500 mg XR Metformin

2 Pregnancies

2 First Trimesters

14 Total Weeks of Pregnancy

2 Miscarriages

0 Live Births

But who’s counting, anyway?

Welcome to my ICLW visitors.  For a narrative version of my journey, check out my TTC Curriculum Vitae or the May or April ICLW posts.

April ICLW & NIAW

Welcome fellow ICLW participants! This is my first time taking the ICLW journey, and I am excited to branch out and meet more fellow bloggers. I am aiming for the Iron Commentor Badge. There are 99 of us participating so I hope to stop by and comment on everyone’s blog.  That’s 14 blogs/comments per day! I’m girding my loins. (An apt figure of speech, don’t you think?)

Briefly, for those of you new to my blog, I’ve been trying to conceive for 16 months while fighting the good fight against PCOS.  My partner (Big Guy) and I successfully conceived after 12 months during Lucky Cycle #10.  However, our baby had a fatal genetic defect, Trisomy 22, and we terminated the pregnancy at 9 weeks when the embryo was found to be nonviable. I started this blog after we learned that the pregnancy was not viable, just over six weeks ago.  I’m currently on my second cycle following the D&C, the 12th cycle overall, and the first medicated cycle of our journey.

The April ICLW seems to have more import given the fact that it intersects with National Infertility Awareness Week.  A while ago I made a glib joke about posting a photo of my “string of pearls” on Facebook as a way to raise awareness about infertility.  This prompted me to request a nice photo of my cystic ovaries.  This image is from CD 3.  I’ve highlighted the important parts for those of you not used to looking at a sad ovary.  Here she is, my string of pearls:

 The “pearls” are the cysts outlined in red.  As you can see, they make a ring around my ovary, which is highlighted with the blue circle. This ring of cysts composes what is often referred to as the PCOS “string of pearls”. I would prefer the real thing over the cysts.

National Infertility Awareness Week starts tomorrow, and  I’ve been rethinking coming out about infertility and loss. I’m pretty sure I am not ready to post a photo of my ovary on Facebook, but it seems as if a well-worded Facebook update could go a long way in raising awareness.  I’m just not sure I want to do it, and the main reason I am hedging is a fear of insensitive and ignorant comments.

    • It’s all part of God’s plan.
    • He knows best.
    • Just adopt.
    • Have you tried IVF?
    • Are you charting?
    • You weren’t meant to be a mother.
    • Karma is a bitch.

What do you think?  Are you “out”, and, if so, did you experience any fallout? If you are in the closet, are you considering revealing yourself? Anyone have a compelling argument for either side of the coin?