RE Nurse: We need to send you over to an OBGYN so they can give you a Rhogam shot.
RE Nurse (on phone): We have a patient here that needs a Rhogam shot. Can we send her over to you?
OBGYN Nurse (on phone): Is she having a miscarriage?
RE Nurse: Yes.
OBGYN Nurse: How has this been confirmed? Hands phone to me.
K: I’ve had six betas, the highest of which peaked at 410. My most recent was 32. I’ve been bleeding for five days. Bright, red blood. The ultrasound at 5 weeks 5 days didn’t show anything in my uterus.
OB Nurse: So this is your first pregnancy?
K: No, this is my second.
OB Nurse: Oh! You have one child?
K: No. I had a miscarriage in March.
OB Nurse: March of 2011?
K: No. March of this year. March 6th.
OB Nurse: And you are having another miscarriage?!
OB Nurse: OK. I think we can see you today. Can you come right over?
OBGYN: So, this is your first pregnancy?
K: No. This is my second.
OBGYN: Oh! You have a child?
K: No. I had a miscarriage in March. I was 9 weeks. They did a D&C and gave me the Rhogam shot.
OBGYN: It really isn’t that common to have back-to-back miscarriages.
(Five percent. Those are the odds. I don’t need you to tell me.)
OBGYN: So. You’ve just been spotting and you think your pregnancy might be at risk?
K: No. I had a miscarriage. This has been confirmed with betas and an ultrasound.
OBGYN: Well. An ultrasound that early may not show anything.
K: No, perhaps not.
(Lady, I’m not fucking pregnant. I understand you must cover your ass, but there isn’t a shot in hell. Did you even glance at the chart?)
OBGYN: You’ve just been spotting?
K: No. I’ve been bleeding since Friday. Bright red blood. Clots. Stringy shit. At this point, the bleeding has tapered off.
OBGYN: Well, was it bleeding like menstruation or spotting?
K: Bleeding like menstruation. Heavier than menstruation.
OBGYN: Oh, that’s too bad. Well now it’s time to do some more testing.
K: Yes. My RE ordered the karyotyping test.
OBGYN: Well, you are young and healthy. It will happen.
Hair Stylist: I love your hair. I was dying my hair bright white like yours, but I stopped.
(Oh, she stopped dying her hair because she’s pregnant. She set the conversation up like this so I will ask her why she stopped bleaching her hair. Everyone thinks that babies are a good conversation for women our age.)
K: Oh? Why did you stop dying it?
Stylist: Well, I found out I was pregnant and I was uncomfortable with all the chemicals necessary to bleach my hair. I thought I would rather be safe than sorry.
(I bet she is due in October when I would have been due.)
K: Congratulations. When is your due date?
Stylist: October 12th. You can’t really tell. I’m not showing yet.
(Right. A due date a couple of days behind me. How many weeks would I have been, 20?)
K: How many weeks are you?
Stylist: Hmm. I dunno. Nineteen or 20?
(That must be nice. You mean you don’t have an internal tracker that ticks the days off as you move towards viability. Huh.)
K: Halfway there. How do you feel?
Stylist: I’ve been pretty sick, but my mum was sick for the entire pregnancy when she had me, so that’s what I think is going to happen. Do you have kids?
Stylist: Oh, do you want kids?
Stylist: Maybe someday? They are a lot of work. This is going to be my only one.
K: Maybe someday.