NIAW: Don’t Ignore Infertility

In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week 2012, I wanted to write about about fertility and women’s health.  This year’s theme is Don’t Ignore Infertility.  As infertile women, I think we can all agree that we aren’t ignoring our infertility, but this theme is largely directed to society, at-large, which seems to ignore all aspects of women’s fertility outside of the hot-button political issues.

Who knew that having a baby would be so difficult?  Turns out a vast majority of women and girls are in the dark about the fertility and reproductive health.  A recent survey sponsored by RESOLVE found that of those surveyed (1,000 women) most underestimated the actual time it takes to conceive a child. Fun facts covered in the survey include the average number of months for a young 20-something to get pregnant (5 months) and the chance of a 30-year-old conceiving during any given cycle (20%).

The fact of the matter is that our fertility declines dramatically from the late 20’s.  This, combined with new cultural norms that include marrying later, establishing a career, and readily available contraception, means that 20% of women are delaying baby-making until they are 35 or older.  However, by the time you are 35 your fertile years are largely behind you, and the risk factors for you and baby only increase as you age. One out of four women between the ages of 35-44 are infertile, whereas only 1 out of 10 women between the ages of 15 and 29 are infertile. The survey also revealed that women trusted their OB/GYN as a source of care and knowledge, yet, “… the majority of women reported that they never discussed future pregnancy plans (52%), age as an infertility risk factor (78%), or infertility treatment options (89-96%) with their Ob/Gyn.”

But, as infertile women, we already know all of this stuff.

However, this lack of information extends much further than our fecundity.  Most women don’t have basic knowledge of their reproductive cycle.  Even worse, medical practitioners don’t have much of a clue, either.  Toni Weschler, author of Taking Charge of Your Fertility and leading women’s health educator, was inspired to write a book based on the vast dearth of information regarding women’s bodies and cycles.  She writes:

When I first embarked upon writing this book a dozen years ago, I had hoped to spark a grassroots movement among women frustrated with the lack  of information they are given about their bodies and cycles.  As I had anticipated, the empowering information contained in these pages has struck a huge cored with hundreds of thousands of women – women who were seeking a safe and effective form of natural birth control, women who wanted to get pregnant, or those who just wanted to finally take control of their gynecological and sexual health.

Weschler goes on to note that a basic natural understanding of a women’s cycle is not offered in medical schools.  Her response? She included an appendix that one removes from the book and places in the hands of their healthcare practitioner.  She also notes that in our market-driven society, keeping women in the dark is profitable.  Contraceptives in all their shapes and forms make billions of dollars annually, but also provide a lot of pain and grief for those of us that partake.  Elizabeth at Bebe Suisse wrote an eloquent post about the impact of contraceptives on her life.

Really, this is about the lack of information and widespread misinformation about the female mind and body.  I was “lucky”.  I was diagnosed with PCOS, by chance, when I was 19.  As a result, I have had over ten years to learn about PCOS, its long-term impacts on my health, and its affect on my fertility. Having problems starting a family was not a surprise. For this, I am thankful.  I have since taken many steps to educate myself about the disease in order to mitigate the effects on not just my fertility, but also on my cardiovascular health.  A completely inspiring and thoughtful book that really opened my eyese to the female anatomy was Natalie Angier’s Woman: An Intimate Geography.  Angier, a Pulitzer prize winning author, presents a grand tome of the female anatomy informing and challenging the reader all the way to the end.  In short, it is incredible.

So, how does this relate to me, this blog, and to ICLW? Well, I think it’s time for me to start a conversation, outside the comforts of this community, with my friends and my family – Don’t ignore your body, don’t ignore in/fertility, and don’t ignore women’s health.  I started this morning with a Facebook post linking to the NIAW page.

How about you? Were you ever encouraged to ignore your in/fertility? Have others in your life taken steps to ignore or address in/fertility?

April ICLW & NIAW

Welcome fellow ICLW participants! This is my first time taking the ICLW journey, and I am excited to branch out and meet more fellow bloggers. I am aiming for the Iron Commentor Badge. There are 99 of us participating so I hope to stop by and comment on everyone’s blog.  That’s 14 blogs/comments per day! I’m girding my loins. (An apt figure of speech, don’t you think?)

Briefly, for those of you new to my blog, I’ve been trying to conceive for 16 months while fighting the good fight against PCOS.  My partner (Big Guy) and I successfully conceived after 12 months during Lucky Cycle #10.  However, our baby had a fatal genetic defect, Trisomy 22, and we terminated the pregnancy at 9 weeks when the embryo was found to be nonviable. I started this blog after we learned that the pregnancy was not viable, just over six weeks ago.  I’m currently on my second cycle following the D&C, the 12th cycle overall, and the first medicated cycle of our journey.

The April ICLW seems to have more import given the fact that it intersects with National Infertility Awareness Week.  A while ago I made a glib joke about posting a photo of my “string of pearls” on Facebook as a way to raise awareness about infertility.  This prompted me to request a nice photo of my cystic ovaries.  This image is from CD 3.  I’ve highlighted the important parts for those of you not used to looking at a sad ovary.  Here she is, my string of pearls:

 The “pearls” are the cysts outlined in red.  As you can see, they make a ring around my ovary, which is highlighted with the blue circle. This ring of cysts composes what is often referred to as the PCOS “string of pearls”. I would prefer the real thing over the cysts.

National Infertility Awareness Week starts tomorrow, and  I’ve been rethinking coming out about infertility and loss. I’m pretty sure I am not ready to post a photo of my ovary on Facebook, but it seems as if a well-worded Facebook update could go a long way in raising awareness.  I’m just not sure I want to do it, and the main reason I am hedging is a fear of insensitive and ignorant comments.

    • It’s all part of God’s plan.
    • He knows best.
    • Just adopt.
    • Have you tried IVF?
    • Are you charting?
    • You weren’t meant to be a mother.
    • Karma is a bitch.

What do you think?  Are you “out”, and, if so, did you experience any fallout? If you are in the closet, are you considering revealing yourself? Anyone have a compelling argument for either side of the coin?

Screw Fertility-Free Friday.

Turns out, I don’t have much else to talk about.

National Infertility Awareness Week is coming up.  I don’t think I’m ready to be “out”. Primarily, because it would require me to talk about my miscarriage, and I just am not emotionally prepared for that step.  Alas, I will not be posting photos of my “string of pearls” on Facebook, while making an infertility announcement.  Not this year, at least.

However, I have been working on a project related to Infertility’s Common Thread.  The ALI common thread was a movement thought up by Mel at Stirrups Queens, as well as other fellow bloggers back in 2007.  The ladies decided to come up with a common symbol that links everyone that has faced ALI.  This is especially important given the silent suffering of the ALI community.  They decided to go with a pomegranate-colored thread as a symbol of our struggle, as well as a symbol of our support for one another. I think the sentiment is beautiful.

The movement organizers choose embroidery floss color #814 as the unifying thread.

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I’ve decided to connect with my pre-teen self and make some friendship bracelets for friends and family.  Despite the hours spent making bracelets as a child, nevermind the vast collection of embroidery thread, I couldn’t remember how to do it. Not an inkling.  Luckily, Purl Soho has a friendship bracelet guide of the knotted variety.  I quickly realized that, while I have a lot of time on my hands, my desire to make ridiculously small knots for hours on end is limited.

So, I quickly went in search for a guide for the loop friendship bracelet variety.  Thank you YouTube.  Search “loop friendship bracelet” and you will quickly find your way there.

I’ve only made a few, so far, but they only take about 20 minutes each.  Much like I am continuously trying to resurrect the high-five, my next goal is to resurrect the friendship bracelet – the ALI kind.

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And, lastly, in open defiance of Fertility-Free Friday, I wanted to link to the Faces of ALI at Too Many Fish to Fry.  In case you haven’t checked it out, Jjirraffe is profiling women within the ALI community.

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