Well, I don’t really know this for sure, but all signs say bust. I’m 10 DPO and 10 days post trigger. I’ve been testing out the trigger and the line has gotten lighter and lighter every morning. On a whim, I tested last night with diluted urine and the line was just as dark as it was in the morning. Ah!, I thought, this is it!
I went to bed with dreams of babies and positive pregnancy tests. Literally, I dreamed of babies and positive pregnancy tests. Also, in my dreams, my online faction of friends were emailing me telling me they could tell that I was pregnant by the looks of my chart. Ha! Funny!
Yet, that hope really just blossomed through the night, and I was convinced that the test this morning would be darker than yesterday morning’s test. I woke with a start around 6 am and took my temp. Yep, still amazingly high at 98.6. I’ve been pinned at 98.6 for days. I ambled on in to the bathroom and did the deed. I set the test aside and went back to bed. Only I couldn’t fall back to sleep, so I went in to examine the test after a bit. There was an absence of a line. Nothing, nada, zilch. BFN.
I went back to bed and promptly fell back asleep. I did not dream of babies and positive pregnancy tests.
I woke up an hour or so later. After putting in my contacts and brushing my teeth, I checked the test. Lo and behold, there was a line. Definitely lighter than yesterday. Probably still the trigger.
So, I’m fairly convinced that today was the day that hCG from an embryo would start influencing the test sticks. Especially since they are the super sensitive internet cheapies. They are so sensitive that when my hCG was less than 20 after my D&C, I was still getting a pretty good positive test line. I think it is pretty clear that Cycle 12 is a bust. I will continue to test, because why not? The sticks were only 20 cents a piece, but I don’t think I’m pregnant.
It is always at this point in my cycle, after realizing that I have failed once again, that the full weight of unemployment fails on my shoulders. Time seems to stretch out endlessly and meaninglessly in front of me. No job, no baby, nothing. I’m pretty sick of it. However, NPR is looking for people to interview that are unemployed and recently quit their job search. I recently quit the job search due to the impending move to Palm Springs. My dreams of becoming a media star may yet be realized.