The deed has been done. IUI#2 went off without a hitch (other than a stubborn cervix), and I had 59.1 million sperm injected straight into my uterus. Fertility Friend says I ovulated on the day of the IUI, and I am now three DPO. I wore my second pair of fertility socks from Amy at Dwelling on Dreams. This pair is particularly awesome. Grumpy. That’s what I’m going to be if this cycle is a bust. Fucking grumpy.

That’s right. Grumpy.

I’ve had some weird and disparate fertility signs since the IUI. First my cervix didn’t act like it normally does, which consists of clamping down hard and tight after ovulation. I also had some fertile mucus after my suspected ovulation. That freaked me out, and I spent some time obsessing about timing. Yesterday, at two DPO, I experienced some mild cramping and had one instance of spotting. Implantation at two DPO? Ha. Not likely. The cause? Who knows. I give up. I have no control.

Also, I’ve been conducting a bit of an experiment with charting. Since moving to the desert I find myself waking up with my mouth wide open and dry as, well, the desert. This seems to affect my temperatures a bit. So, I thought I would try temping vaginally. Don’t worry, folks, I bought a new thermometer. I’ve been taking both temps this cycle to see how they differ. By and large the vaginal temps are .5 degrees higher than the oral. This was consistent until I ovulated. Orally I saw a nice shift, but I am not seeing a shift vaginally. Big Guy suggested I try to push excess air out of my vagina prior to taking my temperature. I told him I didn’t think that would work. I suppose the moral of the story is that people primarily discuss temperatures methods as oral or anal for a reason. I don’t have the dedication to do anal temperatures. I’m not that interested in continuing my personal science project. Vaginal temping did not produce a thermal shift for me. Perhaps I can’t maintain a pregnancy because I have a frigid uterus and vagina.

My luteal phase is going to go fast. This is a welcome relief after the self-inflicted crazy of last cycle. I have a friend coming into town early this week and then we are heading back to Nebraska for my sister’s wedding. I return to the desert on 11 DPO. Our plan is to test on the morning of 12 DPO fully expecting a positive because I metabolize the trigger at a glacial rate. So, the test that matters will be at 13 DPO, or on next Wednesday morning. Darker, lighter, nonexistent? Who knows.

Here is the question: Should I pack some tests to take with me? You know, just in case I’m feeling pregnant…